Perfumes

OK one of the things that I am fanatic about is perfumes. I just love a good scent. I have favorites and I also like to try new stuff. And I so loooove a beautiful perfume bottle.

After a longer than I liked wait, I splurged on a perfumes from wholesalers, and I got me a bunch of new and old favorites. While trying them I noticed that each one makes me feel a different way, and creates certain feelings and images in my head. So I thought I'd write this down.

Quelque Fleurs: this is my first time using this old perfumes. I always admired it but form a distance. This time I decided to get it. And when I am using I feel relaxed and expensive. Yeah, it makes me feel like a posh Parisian lady who wears classic outfits, likes to slightly over do it with accessories, but gets away with it. But this lady is also warm, and romantic. It is a scent that invites you to come closer, and I will whisper something nice in your ear.

Paris: I always seem to get nostalgic for this perfumes during the winter months. It is not so cold around here that is for sure, but when the weather gets cooler during those months, the smell of winter is in the air, and it is then that I miss and feel like I want to use this perfume. And when I use it, I imagine winter in Paris, the wet floor in the Champs-Elysees, the bare trees and the sizzle of soft rain.

Shalimar: yeah I know, sometimes I feel like I am the only one who likes this perfume around here. But this perfumes has a unique scent. A scent that tells its own tale and has a mind of its own. It is sexy when it wants, warm, distant, inviting, prohibiting, it is all and nothing. When I use it I feel like I am saying: This is me, I am here can't you feel it yet.

Chanel No5: Well what can one say about that. It is the perfume that says "Life goes on, and so do I"

Must de Cartier: I like this perfume cause it is warm and powerful. I don't think it is a sexy perfumes though. I also love how it progresses on the skin. For me it is one of those power perfumes. That gives you warm tingly feelings.

Poison: and I mean the old one. The very first. I think this perfume is unparalleled. It is like Must de Cartier, warm and powerful, but it is sooo sexy. It is the perfume that makes me imagine nightlife, but in a good way.

Paris, Shalimar, No5, Must and Poison are old favorites. I loved them at first site and still do. My new trials are Juicy Couture and Viva la Juicy. I can't say that they create any deep feelings or thoughts but despite the fact that one is flowery and the other is more fruity, and I like both, they both conjure those images of being "Elegantly Flirty" and I like that. There is an art to flirting with class and those two from Juicy Couture, seem to portray that image.

So yeah I will be enjoying my new collection of perfumes for a while, and I might decide at some other point to share more Perfume thoughts with you. I might even tell you my ultimate favorite.... shh

Here I am

So my 6 years old and 4 plus years old are in school routine now. Unfortunately they are not loving it all that much, but it must be.

I have at home my 2 years old keeping me company.

But basically we settled into a nice routine of waking up early, even on weekends. I do my shopping a couple of times a weeks while the girls are at school. We take them for eating out once a week and playing somewhere once.

Life seems to be taking a nice pattern. And when I am not being an idiot and go to be early enough sleep I really enjoy my day.

I have started taking better care of myself; yoga my favorite sport and trying to make better food choices, I am not targeting weight loss as of yet, just a healthier me. Since I started taking vitamin B complex and Osteocare daily in addition to my regular multi vitamins I have been feeling much better.

Ok a little incident that happened today with my KG girl. At her school they started selling them sandwiches at the beginning of this year, that is why I stopped giving her one from home. The last few days after Hajj break she has been asking me to send a sandwich with her, and I ignored cos I though she is just being silly. Today she went to school crying because she wanted a home sandwitch and was insisting that they are usually late giving them their food at school and that there is not more shop there to buy from. So I called the school and as it turns out she is right. So I sent her a sandwich and a Croissant, she loves those and I wanted to make it up to her. But in the half hour when I was waiting for the croissant to get here an the chauffeur to take her food to her, was a very nervous anxious time for me, I felt real chest pains during. Just thinking that my little girl is not getting the food she wants, or that she has been feeling down because she is not eating what she wants.

But this got me thinking about all the parents in this world with children they can't feed. How horrible they must feel to see the hunger and need in their babies eyes and not be able to do anything about. How horrible. If i where to erase anything off the face of this planet it would be poverty, time and time again.

Random Thought

I find myself thinking in a certain pattern these days. And it goes like this: I see or hear something and have a certain opinion about it and then start wondering if this is how I really think or is it just me being "older" -you know being 38 and approaching the big 40- that thinks this way.

And then I stopped my self today. You do agree I am being ridiculous. Cos whatever I think or feel now, has to be because I am in my late thirties, wouldn't it be very strange to be 40 years old and think and feel like a twenty something.

So if I thought about something now differently than I did in my twenties, then that is me being normal. And my thoughts and feelings now are not any less real.

In my head I am always making a comparison between what I was then and what I am now. And to make things even more complicated I also try to figure out how the rest of the world would perceive my action or thought.

Mmm.... maybe I should just let the older me relax and the enjoy some of the liberties that come with growing older.

Brief of events

I will give you a brief of what went on in my life the last few months:

- Got my first ever ID card, government issued that is, long explanation

- My 6 year old graduated kindergarten, I know I know "are you serious?" but they did have a ceremony!

- The search for a suitable private school ended by me finding one called "Children World School" that I just fell in love with and inshallah it is going to be great for my girls and I hope they will stay in it till they graduate highschool and go to uni.

So my tow girls are enrolled the 6 year old in this new school and the 4 year old in the same kindergarten her sister went to. I am so exited for both of them.

- Got busy after that organizing a trip to Europe for us and my parents and my hubbies nephew

- Took my little girls and mum and sister to the hair dresser where we had haircuts/trims and mum a hair dye, right before our trip

- Went to the trip to Disneyland paris, then Geneva, then Paris

- Got back home and after a week girls got sick

- Ramadan started and girls got sick again, which turned out to be Virus H1N1!!!

- Eid came and went

- I decided to start wearing hijab

- After a period of feeling unsettled and a bit unhappy, I am back to my old satisfied self. I am very comfortable and relaxed most of the time now, I am not sure what caused my restlessness and I am not sure what helped ease it up.

- We went a couple of time to our usual beach resort

- My 2 years old got her scheduled vaccinations

- Just yesterday took my girls to have their pictures taken for school documents and took the chance to take a photo with them.

Ok so that is it so far.

Hair brief in another post.

Random thoughts

Try to be an independent thinker, not a rebel.

I am Sad!

Why am I feeling sad?

I love my husband, and I think we have overall a good life together. But as often in relationships you want more and expect more.

I am sad because after seven years of marriage and ten years of engagement and other relations my dear husband does not understand as well as I wished he would.

I am sad because we seem to be drifting into a banal husband and wife relationship and not the deep friendship I wanted out of a marriage.

I am sad because, despite my several attempts, my husband can not find the will to demonstrate his love by small daily loving gestures. Don't get me wrong, he is funny and jokes around a lot, but where are the gestures that tell me: "you are my significant other".? a hug or a kiss during the day can do miracles to ones emotional well being, but my requests fell on deaf ears.

I am sad because, he does not give me the feeling of security and safety I wanted from him. I would love to believe that he is there for me and would take care of me in my future and present, but now I am not so sure.

I am sad because he seems almost as unsatisfied as I am and I don't know what to do about it.

I am sad because I wanted to give my daughters the image of how wonderful marriage can be for a couple, because I grew up in a troubled marriage and wanted to give them something different. I wanted to show them how fulfilling mutual love and caring between a couple can be, but now I am not so sure I will be able to do that.

I am sad because I want more in my marriage than what I have now, and I am sad because for the first time I am not sure I can have it.

Life

I am in a very pleasant mood right now. And feel like I love my life.

My soon to be 6 years old is finished with her first year of school. And I was getting too emotional about it. I come close to tears every time I think about it. Next year two of my daughters will be going to school and I love the thought. Specially now that I found what seems to be and hope it is true, a great school. This school offers a different environment than usual schools here and at the same time keeps standard of eduction and discipline good. I am speaking of what I have noticed during my visits and of what I have been told when asked about it. My 6 years old is joining this school next year. but my 4 years old is joining the same Pre-K her sister went to this past year. My experience with them was excellent, so I am giving them number 2. I am just excited for them and it is just wonderful to see them doing things.

Right now I am enjoying having all my lovely girls with me at home and not having to worry so much about them when they are away.

Older

I have been thinking so much about growing older. I am steadily heading to my forties now that I am turning 38 this coming June. Many thoughts and questions come to mind. Will I ever be able to regain my previous physical form? Can I lose the extra weight? Will I still look nice, or am I going to look like a grouchy old lady? Will I be enjoying good health or am I going to start suffering from various old age illnesses?

I am turning 40 in a couple of years, and I can't believe it!!!

What about the social norms and expectations of people around me? There is a a stereotype to age just like everything else, should I try to adhere to that? or should I just do as I feel like?

I know that in my heart I am not trying to look younger or behave younger, but I am taking the same approach to things as I did 10 years ago. I mean a simple matter like choosing an outfit; should I avoid wearing certain things because the are suppose to be for younger people? Or avoid using a perfume that I liked because it is targeted at a younger audience. I am really not a very trendy person to start with, and that has not changed, but I do like to try new stuff that appeal to me, a new style, a new type of music (could be new to me only) a new perfume and such.

I was choosing a piece of jewelry the other day and my mother was with me. Now she is turning 62 this year, and thought she does not dress in a very young attire, she does try to behave like a 22 year old girl. But still at that when I was shopping I liked a pendant shaped like a butterfly and made from mother of moonstone, to me it looked nice and the question of it being age appropriate did not even cross my mind. But my mum said it was not appropriate for me. Now it was not a colorful little butterfly, as I said it was a very soft color and a bit big pendant. But her comment got me thinking. Should I starting giving more consideration to what I chose wear and try to incorporate "the age factor", or should I just go with what makes me feel good like I always did.

And for some mum ranting: aren't mothers suppose to view their children young for good? And is it a strong indication that your aging when your own mum says something about it?

Talk about not my day, it is not my month

I am having some rough times. First I am pregnant, then I had some problems with it and last call the doctor says things don't looks so good. Well I am fine with whatever outcome as long as it is a healthy baby if the pregnancy goes on. I just hate the wait, and the doctor insisted that we wait two more weeks to determine what is going on. And the wait I hate. My moral is lower and lower by the minute, I am afraid of anything happening that I can't handle. It is not enough that I have to deal with the wait but there is also great fear of what might happen. Not pretty times. Don't know if I can make it for two more weeks. The doctor may find me knocking at his door sooner. Uh, the uncertainty the fear the physical pains, all too much for my poor soul.

What a Wonderful World

I dream of a wonderful world. But it remains a dream.

The last month took me so far away from it. It is not enough that the news is filled with images of starving people and terrified children everywhere. The last month we witnessed a massacre, hundreds of innocent lives and children dead or mutilated by the ugly war. And me with my simple brain was just sitting there shedding tears and wondering how can the world leaders stand still and watch all that happen. If you were a man/woman of power and were able to make a and influence a change would you have stood still and watched thousands of people barricaded and then bombed to their death? Would you have stood still and watched infants being burnt to death or disfigured? And if you were an ordinary person walking down the street and saw a man attacking a child would you just stand still?

And yet the world stood still while all those crimes and more were committed in Gaza under our eyes.

I would just like to scream at every politician :"Save the children"