Saturday, September 30, 2006

Life or something like it

This movie title keeps popping in my head all the time. I don't know how famous the movie is I just happen to watch it on TV, so no clue of how big it was. But the title is catchy and the theme of the movie is good. It talks about what gives life value, or what is of real value in world.

This issue is simple I suppose and the answer it would seem should be easy and clear for everyone. But how many of us tend to pursue certain things in our quest of happiness, only to remain eternaly unsatisfied. When I look at how my life has been so far, I could make long lists of things that I would have liked to do. But still I don't allow my self to brood or feel bad about them. I just look at what I have; a loving family, a caring husband and two lovely daughters.

Its been said over and over again that the thing worth cherishing in life is human relations, one's family and friends. It is no secret. But still I look at people around who I love and care about and see how they are so hung up on other things. It hurts to see them like that, because I know as long as they are like this, they will not find peace within shemselves and they will always remain unsatisfied.

Don't get me wrong I am not an idealist, I just simply try to remain focused. Whenever somthing that I don't like happen, I just ask myself is it worth to dwell on the matter? Or should I just move on and enjoy the more valuable gifts I have in my life? Nothing, nothing equals the joy you derive from good moments with a loved one. And nothing should be more intolerable than a bad thing happening to a loved one.

Remaining focused is very important for me. And I think my ability so far to do just that in itself is a blessing.

If you live to see another day, remember your blessings. If you find yourself feeling down, remember your blessings. If you were planining to buy a fancy bag, or a new car, or a flat screen TV and you couldn't, remember your blessings. The laugh of your child, the satisfaction of your mother or father to see you, the kind hand of your partner touching you, the good friend you have or simply yourself; able healthy and whole. If you count your blessings you will be more grateful than upset or disappointed.

Why am I talking about that? Because it hurts to see my loved ones in times of crises seperating, and working against one another instead of together. It hurts to see my loved ones not appreciating the real value of life.

Life or something like it!!! Why opt for something like it, when you can have your life and enjoy it.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

I want to talk about my girls

Yes that is true I want to talk about them, sorry, but it’s why you start a blog, right, to say whatever you want whenever you feel like it.

Lets start at the beginning, oh no, not when I was born, how boring do you think I am? But when my first girl was born.

Three years ago, this coming Sunday. Pregnancy, maternal instinct did not kick in yet. When she was born however, it is a different thing. I was just overwhelmed with feelings. Forget about resting after birth and all that, my husband took care of that part. Me, I just couldn’t sleep. I was so anxious. With all that came this need to protect. Suddenly, I don’t feel whole unless I am attached to a baby. Everything was so strange and scary. Yes there was love, a love that just kept on growing. To be honest you do feel a bit stupid at how much you suddenly love this creature. You know for a person who tries to rationalize everything, that did not make any sense. Should I tell you that after 4 years of marriage, two pregnancies and two children I have stopped trying to make sense of everything!!! Well, that's another story. Moving on...

To around two years from that date I had my second girl. Now first thought was, good I survived this one two, second thought was its just going to be the same story all over again. But you know how things are, don’t you. My girls just decided to make things all the more fun for me by being total opposites to one another. A couple of weeks after the second was born, and I realized it’s not the same story. Everything about her was different. The older she gets the more obvious. So surprise for mummy, most of the techniques I have learnt don’t work. And It was another learning process. Well you can see who’s boss in this family. Love wise, need I say it, my heart bleeds for the sight of them. The funny thing is when you have the second you love the first even more!!! Now explain that.

So what do I do with my days, they are mostly about the girls. If for a couple of hours I manage to find someone to take care of them and I go do my own thing, I just feel lost, silly I know, but what can you do, blame it on motherhood or the sun rising for all that matter. So I am out alone shopping and I hear cries of a child what happens I want to go over there and comfort the little thing. Hello! don’t you have enough of that at home. And yes the smell... do all mothers miss the smell of their children. First thing I want to do when I return is to smell them. God, can you be an addict to your own children. So fellow mothers, did you sniff your children lately?