If you are a woman who has children then you must realize by now that there is no female pride. Every girl “coming of age” is usually very proud of herself, a pride that increases the more her looks develop and her womanly attributes become full bloom. Taking care of her looks and image is a in most cases, a young woman’s pride and joy.
This was me like fifteen years ago. Come first baby all that just vanished. You get pregnant and think water retention, fat retention and huge feet are just in the package. When pregnancy is over things will go back to normal. Normal being a svelte, flawless you. Then you give birth and it hits you. I am or used to be a beautiful sexy being who likes things perfect and maintained an image of having together, now I am lying on bed with my legs tied up, gassed out of my wits, helpless waiting for the baby to come. Dare I be proud after that? I don’t think so. Do I feel like I have to be in full control of my body and life and looks? I don’t think so.
If you are a woman with children like me, then you my dear have been humbled like I have.
Still some part of me wants to be so elegant and all together. I give it a try every now and then. Like trying to wear high heels, it makes taking care of children while shopping really difficult. But it got me thinking. I have to be a little more flexible about how I look. So I am now taking a different approach to it. Making things more simple. So off to the mall I go, bought some nice ballerina shoes, it make me feel good that they are in style right now, but come to think of it, what isn’t basically everything goes these days. Also no fancy abayas and minimal make up. You see you would not want your make-up to rub on your baby’s face, right.
So in short go for minimum accessories, those that only work well with three children to take care of on outings.
To compensate, I am trying to spend real effort on improving my skin, hair and body. With good maintenance and working out. After all I don’t want to feel like I am just letting my body degenerate.
I am not feeling bad about the whole thing, a few years from now I will look back in yearning for the time when my children were so young. And I certainly will not regret not wearing heels while shopping with my children.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Random thoughts
My girls are healthy and fine, thank God. Did I mention they are now three. Yep my oh so wonderful journey with pregnancy ended a couple of months ago and the third one is out, she had to be forced out. I guess I have wise girls who are not very enthousiastic about life and this time my pregnancy lasted the whole 42 weeks permissable, and I had to go reluctantly to be induced...
After giving birth and having to deal with Ramadan and Eid with a three week old baby, I have decided that I will put off my dissertation till next year, I have neither the energy not the desire to study now. We are also considering moving house and putting my four year old in a KG so too much to cope with.
It is so nice to feel so physically able these days as opposed to pregnancy days, I no longer feel like a seventy year old woman.
As I was scanning TV channels this afternoon Rachel Ray got my attention with the body language experiment with a young woman on three dates, it was shown on One TV. Though the idea of body language is what interest me, I was soon enough disappointed at the implication that a woman had to do her best to get a second date with a guy she likes. I mean come on, no one thought that was degrading!!! I mean putting aside romantic notions and how a girl would want a guy to be simply charmed by her with the least effort, to imply that she has to work to get a second date from a guy is just insulting, like he is doing her favors or she is in a job interview. So called modern thinking what a load of rubbish.
When I am alone with my thoughts I wish I can make life easier fo everyone I love...
After giving birth and having to deal with Ramadan and Eid with a three week old baby, I have decided that I will put off my dissertation till next year, I have neither the energy not the desire to study now. We are also considering moving house and putting my four year old in a KG so too much to cope with.
It is so nice to feel so physically able these days as opposed to pregnancy days, I no longer feel like a seventy year old woman.
As I was scanning TV channels this afternoon Rachel Ray got my attention with the body language experiment with a young woman on three dates, it was shown on One TV. Though the idea of body language is what interest me, I was soon enough disappointed at the implication that a woman had to do her best to get a second date with a guy she likes. I mean come on, no one thought that was degrading!!! I mean putting aside romantic notions and how a girl would want a guy to be simply charmed by her with the least effort, to imply that she has to work to get a second date from a guy is just insulting, like he is doing her favors or she is in a job interview. So called modern thinking what a load of rubbish.
When I am alone with my thoughts I wish I can make life easier fo everyone I love...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Commander in Chief 1st episod
How offensive can they get???
Everyone should be offended by this episode and not just Musliims, although they should primeraly be the ones to get offended. I was watching wondering did they do this whole show to make a statement about equality between men and women or did they do it (the show that is) to use that cause (equality of sexes) as a cover up to popularize all kinds of offensive political moves.
Anyone who saw the show as I did should realise what I am talking about. And MBC network which showed and is introducing this TV Show to the Arabic and Muslisms nations should be ashamed of themselves.
Everyone should be offended by this episode and not just Musliims, although they should primeraly be the ones to get offended. I was watching wondering did they do this whole show to make a statement about equality between men and women or did they do it (the show that is) to use that cause (equality of sexes) as a cover up to popularize all kinds of offensive political moves.
Anyone who saw the show as I did should realise what I am talking about. And MBC network which showed and is introducing this TV Show to the Arabic and Muslisms nations should be ashamed of themselves.
Monday, June 04, 2007
الهلس فنون
Sorry for the Arabic title but I can't think of any English words that describe my bthoughts better. And if you want to know what I am talking about, all you have to do is scan the "Singing Satellite Chanels"!!!
Living in SA, and being a stay at home mum means that you get to sleep at dawn and wake up at noon, sepcially if your children did not go to school yet and if you are inherently lazy like me. Well this is the case with me and I am not unique.
Recently I revolted against my husband's cleaning up of satellite chanels and downloaded the whole lot. And what I see every night is punishment enough for me:) To be honest I do get a few laughs though. I mean things on those "singing videos" channls are giving a new definition to "rediculously funny".
Why do I check them out? curiosity, unability to focus and concentrate on anything serious. But really, really they make me laugh.
Living in SA, and being a stay at home mum means that you get to sleep at dawn and wake up at noon, sepcially if your children did not go to school yet and if you are inherently lazy like me. Well this is the case with me and I am not unique.
Recently I revolted against my husband's cleaning up of satellite chanels and downloaded the whole lot. And what I see every night is punishment enough for me:) To be honest I do get a few laughs though. I mean things on those "singing videos" channls are giving a new definition to "rediculously funny".
Why do I check them out? curiosity, unability to focus and concentrate on anything serious. But really, really they make me laugh.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Pregnancy whine... again!
I am back again, with all my pregnancy glory. Yeah last time I posted was February, so yeah, pregnancy comma, brain goes into a reduced state of activity, not to mention receeding energy levels. Am I gonna talk about pregnancy again? Sorry but I am. This time its the emotional changes, concider yourself warned!
OK this is my third, but you know that if you had read above, and this time round I thought I have seen it all. I mean I know by now about the physical changes, the emotional changes and others. I am afraid I was not quite right.
The physical bit this time I have already whined about that, so I will not get into it again, suffice to say that those pains are just more intense this time round. OK you guessed it is about emotional change during pregnancy and some other sensory changes, no I am not trying to be funny, it’s hopeless, so I am tellting you the truth. What I mean by sensory changes is how I feel and react to smells, touch and visiual effects.
In my previous pregnancies I would have a strong aversion to any alcohol based perfumes. So this time like a good girl who listens to her body, I went to the mall at the begining of this pregnancy and bought myself some Oud and Musk, these were the only perfumes I could use before. I was so happy with myself being so wise and respectful of my body. What happened is at the first few months (3 months) I did not even like those, the only thing is they are not very volatile so I was still able to use, I just had to avoid smelling them. And now I can tolerate regular alcohol based perfumes better, so I did not even need to buy those, I could have spent that money on something else, like regular perfumes that I like. But trust me lesson learnt next time there will be no planning I will just take every pregnancy month as it comes.
You think my reaction to touch and visiual stimuli does not change. Well it does. First any little pressure on my body like my little girls hand squeezing me makes me feel like she is pressing right into thte bones. Visual, I have very low tolerance to prolonged exposure to light specially artificial light, and at the same time I become more of a morning person than my usual night owl self, so I have to keep changing my settings.
What else? Crying sessions. Well not really that bad but almost. I am too sensitive to anything. I take what people say or do to me to close to heart and I hurt and cry or get touched and cry. OK it is not only real life that gets to me also fictional, any emotional scene on TV or in a movie can start tears. I mean if you are a mother you are already more emotional, if you are a mother and pregnant, then forget it you are lost.
Hem, memory my dears, memory. Once I had it now I don't. I think my brain finds it too difficult to deal with all the pains of pregnancy that it loses a good part of its abilities mainly; memory and focus.
Now my fellow women do not be upset with me because I am admitting to these things. First I give you that not all of us are the same, and second, it is by acknowledging our shortcomings that we are able to overcome them.
OK this is my third, but you know that if you had read above, and this time round I thought I have seen it all. I mean I know by now about the physical changes, the emotional changes and others. I am afraid I was not quite right.
The physical bit this time I have already whined about that, so I will not get into it again, suffice to say that those pains are just more intense this time round. OK you guessed it is about emotional change during pregnancy and some other sensory changes, no I am not trying to be funny, it’s hopeless, so I am tellting you the truth. What I mean by sensory changes is how I feel and react to smells, touch and visiual effects.
In my previous pregnancies I would have a strong aversion to any alcohol based perfumes. So this time like a good girl who listens to her body, I went to the mall at the begining of this pregnancy and bought myself some Oud and Musk, these were the only perfumes I could use before. I was so happy with myself being so wise and respectful of my body. What happened is at the first few months (3 months) I did not even like those, the only thing is they are not very volatile so I was still able to use, I just had to avoid smelling them. And now I can tolerate regular alcohol based perfumes better, so I did not even need to buy those, I could have spent that money on something else, like regular perfumes that I like. But trust me lesson learnt next time there will be no planning I will just take every pregnancy month as it comes.
You think my reaction to touch and visiual stimuli does not change. Well it does. First any little pressure on my body like my little girls hand squeezing me makes me feel like she is pressing right into thte bones. Visual, I have very low tolerance to prolonged exposure to light specially artificial light, and at the same time I become more of a morning person than my usual night owl self, so I have to keep changing my settings.
What else? Crying sessions. Well not really that bad but almost. I am too sensitive to anything. I take what people say or do to me to close to heart and I hurt and cry or get touched and cry. OK it is not only real life that gets to me also fictional, any emotional scene on TV or in a movie can start tears. I mean if you are a mother you are already more emotional, if you are a mother and pregnant, then forget it you are lost.
Hem, memory my dears, memory. Once I had it now I don't. I think my brain finds it too difficult to deal with all the pains of pregnancy that it loses a good part of its abilities mainly; memory and focus.
Now my fellow women do not be upset with me because I am admitting to these things. First I give you that not all of us are the same, and second, it is by acknowledging our shortcomings that we are able to overcome them.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The joys of being pregnant...not!!!
So yes I have realized four years ago when I first became pregnant that the joys of pregnancy are mythical. And now being pregnant for the third time, fourth really if you want to precise, first one ended in a miscarriage. So I am reminded again of the joys.
My first pregnancy was terrible, hated every minute of it. Second one was a little better, so I thought maybe this time it will even be easier, think again sweetie.
Let me give you an idea of what is going on with me (warning thought, some images maybe disturbing!!!):
- Nausea around the clock, with sickness and vomiting almost a couple of times a day
- Dizziness round the clock
- Can’t get a good deep sleep
- Joints and bone pains all the time
- Lower back pain,,,all the time
OK I am not going to keep on saying “all the time”, you get it already
- I can’t drink water
- I get goose bumps when I shower or come in contact with water
- I can’t brush my teeth, because it induces vomiting
- I have very dry hands and feet, and oily face, but I find it difficult to use skin care stuff because of smells and textures that make me uncomfortable, not my usual thing, I am usually a products junky.
- Increased perspiration
- Shortness of breath
- I can’t bend down cos I feel like suffocating if I do
- Headaches, that I can’t take any pain killers for.
- Stuffed nose
- Sinus pain
- Oily scalp and dry ends of hair
- Aversion to all smells, even that of my own children
-Skin darkens all over
- Can’t see well, my vision sort of deteriorates during pregnancy!!!
- Lack of focus
- I change from a night owl to a morning person
In short pregnancy for me put a whole new meaning to being uncomfortable in your own skin.
Now you may wondering why am I bothering the universe with such details? Well, I just think that pregnancy complaints are usually underestimated by people and women though they complain, are usually not precise in what they say. So here it is.
My first pregnancy was terrible, hated every minute of it. Second one was a little better, so I thought maybe this time it will even be easier, think again sweetie.
Let me give you an idea of what is going on with me (warning thought, some images maybe disturbing!!!):
- Nausea around the clock, with sickness and vomiting almost a couple of times a day
- Dizziness round the clock
- Can’t get a good deep sleep
- Joints and bone pains all the time
- Lower back pain,,,all the time
OK I am not going to keep on saying “all the time”, you get it already
- I can’t drink water
- I get goose bumps when I shower or come in contact with water
- I can’t brush my teeth, because it induces vomiting
- I have very dry hands and feet, and oily face, but I find it difficult to use skin care stuff because of smells and textures that make me uncomfortable, not my usual thing, I am usually a products junky.
- Increased perspiration
- Shortness of breath
- I can’t bend down cos I feel like suffocating if I do
- Headaches, that I can’t take any pain killers for.
- Stuffed nose
- Sinus pain
- Oily scalp and dry ends of hair
- Aversion to all smells, even that of my own children
-Skin darkens all over
- Can’t see well, my vision sort of deteriorates during pregnancy!!!
- Lack of focus
- I change from a night owl to a morning person
In short pregnancy for me put a whole new meaning to being uncomfortable in your own skin.
Now you may wondering why am I bothering the universe with such details? Well, I just think that pregnancy complaints are usually underestimated by people and women though they complain, are usually not precise in what they say. So here it is.
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