40

I just turned 40 about two weeks ago. Now I am not depressed or crying over time or anything. But I am very aware of the fact that I have been on the face of earth for 4 decades with three generations of people younger than me. That is quite something. Yet I don't know how I feel. I am online looking for indications like I want someone to tell how to feel. The truth is becoming a mother affecting my personality much more than turning 35 or 40 now. More or less I am the same person I was 20 years ago, maybe more assertive and open than I was then, which I attribute to aging and motherhood at the same time. But other than that I am mostly the same. So I couldn't help wonder, is there something I am missing? Should I feel something I am not? and if yes what is it and why don't I feel it? Maybe by the end of this year I'll find out. Or maybe my 40 is like my 30 not so significant. I felt a difference in me at 25, and then 35 so maybe 45 is the next leap digits for me.

For the first time in 16 years I feel like I want short hair. I have an appointment tomorrow for a hair cut where I plan on getting for the first time in 16 years an above the shoulder hair cut. Hope I don't regret it.

Can't make up my mind

I have been wanting to grow my hair which is already long to new lengths. But for a week now I have been thinking about nothing but cutting my hair to this.

Nail Polish

I decided to post a pic of every nail polish I have, since I am trying out all new colors all the time. This one is from Max Factor.

OH, I think explanation is due. During the last trimester of my pregnancy I usually develop a liking to something new. This last pregnancy I developed a liking to nail polish. I went out a bought a bunch of all different colors. My pregnancy is over now and my baby is 4 months old but my nail polish interest remains... :)

The value of time

It is true that as we get older time becomes more valuable. But parenthood puts an added spin on that. Time as a parent is not only more valuable but also more precious. Every passing moment is one to cherish...

Nivea make-up

I recently tried it and it is wonderful.The nail polish is great it does strengthen the nails and help them grow. The lipstick is so smooth and the colors are nice and look velvety soft and my lips feel moisturizer after I use it.
I just wanted to share as it is not such a popular brand around here so maybe if more peole hear about it it will pick up.

Me and motherhood

My hubby started us on the parenting road. He wanted to be a Dad. On the other hand my maternal instincts did ot kick in till I had my first baby. Now as I get older I'd like to have more and more, but as I hitting forty in a couple of weeks it is not logical to peruse that feeling any more, specially that I have 4 wonderful children now.
I am trying to focus on enjoying the short months of my baby's life as an infant, cherishing every moment of it. My other three children (8,6,4) are no less of a joy. Looking at how they grew so nicely and the anticipation of years to come gives life a whole and wonderful meaning.

No one leaves you with a dream...

like disney does.

I watched with my family Tangled and it was great. Just like every other movie of Disney I watched. I have no idea why they are going to stop their princess movies, with all the ugliness in the world one needs a dream every now and then. I am just hoping that they will still be able to dazzle us with other stories. Disney please keep the dream!!!

What is this?!!

I am getting this weird feeling these days, I am doing my normal things and suddenly I feel overwhelmed with sadness. I have nothing to be sad about thank God all is generally well. Is it postpartum depression kicking in a bit late, cos my brain was busy getting rid of the palsy, or is it depression due to extreme tiredness from caring for sick children, my children have been suffering from one form of cold or other for the last 2 months; and it is very tiring and emotionally tasking to deal with sick children. I don't know all I know is that it happens.

As I get older

I used to think that public display of affection is romantic. Now I think it is vulgar.
Now I think courteous gestures both in public and other wise are romantic.

Smooth mornings

Some mornings are wonderful. The baby eats, gets changed and bathed, and sleeps calmly. The older children play with each other and don't cause any trouble. Mummy gets to do some chores, eats some and relax some. My morning today was such a soft morning, I loved it.

Almost normal.

I went out with my children for fun day yesterday and I was happy to see that I am back to normal. I was feeling fine, not tired and was able to enjoy the couple of hours we spent outside. Yeah it is going to be more difficult with a baby on board. but feeling physically good really helps. All my physical problems are clearing away, now I have to try and focus a bit more to get my life back in order.

OK so I gave birth.

Usually I rant a lot about pregnancy on this blog, since I started posting I had to express how bad it makes me feel every time. But this time I did not. Not that it made me feel great or anything, it was as awful as overtime, I just had nothing more to add.

But this time thinking that I am prepared for everything, after all I have been through 6 pregnancies, 3 births and 3 miscarriages I was not happily surprised with some problems during my least month.
First, my Blood press was less than stable, one day high and one day law. Second the baby seemed to be moving about in my uterus too much, I go to the doctor one day and he is head down, the second visit he is sideways… At which I tried to do the Spinning Babies technique (there is a website) and maybe it helped I can't tell for sure. All I can say is that when the baby was sideways I was in a lot of pain, and after doing their poses the pain was gone and on my next visit the baby was head down again.
Third, just a day before my due date I was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy can you imagine… And then I find out that pregnant women in their third trimester are actually at higher risk of Palsy… LIke we need this.

So here I go to my doctor a day before my due date and tell him all about it, and he finds out that my BP is going higher again so he recommends induction on my due date. Primarily for the Blood pressure and because of the baby's movement and the size; he is expecting the baby to be tad big.

So crying my eyes out next day I head to the hospital.

OK I guess the rest have to wait.

Electricity

Electricity was out for 14 hours at our street. First it was ok then it was difficult and finally I just couldn't breath any more.