Thought of the day

Knowledge leads to more questions.

Baby nostalgia

OK so recently a few months back after more or less settling on no more babies, I found myself pregnant. Only to lose the baby at 8 weeks. But that left me with wanting babies again, more than ever before. So it got me thinking maybe it is midlife crises as I am approaching my forties. So I go and ask my ever so wise??? younger sister what she thinks. And I tell her: do you think it is ok to have a baby as a middle life crises? And to my surprise she says: isn't that why people usually have children... :) Though it was quite an unfair statement to human kind, it got me thinking that maybe it is not so odd to have the baby itch at my age, particularly that I started late at the game. Mmm... don't know we'll see how goes...

Priceless moments of the day

My day basically is all about my girls. It is no longer so tiring, now that my youngest is 2 years 7 months, but still plenty of work. Not to mention all the required attention you need to provide for them and the on going effort to teach and nurture. But still easier than having to deal with a nursing infant at the same time.

Though on days like today, when one of them is sick things seem to get difficult again. I feel more stressed and nervous not just because of the extra work, but also because I am worried about the sick child.

So today between the extra work, the doctor visit and the emotional stress. Come evening I am extremely exhausted. So I make a cup of coffee and sit with my laptop sipping it, for those who don't know, coffee is soothing and stimulating all at once (coming from an addict). So while I am having my coffee and my three darlings watching some TV and having their bed time snack, my youngest calls me, repeatedly, and I answer thinking there goes my coffee, but instead she says: "I love you mummy" and I find my self all recharged and willing to do it all over again.

Those priceless moments in our lives make it all worthwhile.

The laughter of our young ones. The lovely things they say and do. And recently my girls have been showing me more and more of those lovely gestures that just open your heart and brighten your day.

Adoption

A few months ago I found myself thinking and considering adoption. I did think that I might do that years back before I got marries and then when I did I decided to wait and see how I feel about my own children and about adoption once I had my own. Well since then I decided I can't adopt. I was overwhelmed with how I felt about my children. The love, the need to protect and nurture them and how with all the trouble and the hard work that comes with them, there is nothing that I enjoy more than my children. But now recently I can't stop thinking about adoption.

First I found myself having those nurturing feeling to other babies and the sight of a new born just moves like I am the mother. So this got me thinking: maybe now I can do it. Off course the idea of providing an unfortunate orphan a decent living and some parental love preaches itself. But I needed to be be sure I can do it.

Now, I think I am. I just want to figure out how and when. I have three lovely girls of my own and I want to make sure I do it in a way that makes this a good addition to our family.

Random thought

How do I know that me thinking about having a fourth child now is not a mid-life crisis???

I miss having and holding little new borns, but still...

HMMM

Much to say about a lot.

Since the start of the new year.

I had Bad hair cut.
Plans for a new home disrupted.
I had a miscarriage and an D&C.

Not very pleasant.

So I am depressed and think I am going through a mid life crises on top of all.

Things I am grateful for:

My girls,
A decent life
My husband
A caring family
Faith.

I am grateful for my blessings. But still I am depressed. Can't help it.